From Friday November 4th until pretty much this last Friday November 11th, I shut myself in the house and didn't go out. Being here got me very scared. I was thinking: "What the hell am I doing here? Why did I decide to do this to myself? How am I going to make this work?"
I came here without a plan, thinking that I could get by on just good graces. Not having a plan really works my mental gymnastics out.
This is only natural for people in a new place. My friend Alexander said he went so far as to travel to the mall and cried into a food court Hamburger for an hour. I'm a more reclusive person I suppose, and shutting myself into the nice house (that I'm paying for, dammit) seemed the most appropriate solution.
Thursday November 10th I decided I wasn't going to let a new place bring me down. I went ahead to accepting that there were going to be times that I didn't do anything. I started reading the guide book that was left in the house, learning about Mexican culture and coming to a better understanding of the place I'm in. Trying hard to learn Spanish from TV or conversations, and of course, delving into my art as much as possible.
So I'm better now. This last weekend has gotten me over the hump, and I think everything's really going to be okay.
Getting over the hump is the hardest part. Word.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling, man, but once you push a few dominoes, they just keep on falling.
ReplyDeleteHOLD ON (or let go)
ReplyDeleteHANG IN (or hang out)
HAVE FUN (or have fun)